The Best Ever Book of Swedish Jokes: Lots and Lots of Jokes Specially Repurposed for You-Know-Who

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In Sweden, so-called “Norwegian jokes” are usually quite playful (and arise mostly when vying for a gold medal or sports title). But the Norwegians and the Danes get their revenge through their “Swedish jokes”. They usually point out how “inept” Swedes are at social interaction. Here are some examples: Nudists? No. Some people are. But we don’t think nudity is as big a deal as Americans do. It’s a little complicated to jot down all the details – find out more about Swedes and nudity here. A Dane, a Norwegian and Bellman made a wager on who could remain inside a goat pen the longest. First out was the Dane, who came out after just 10 minutes yelling "Damn! The goat stinks!" After him the Norwegian went in, and after half an hour he came out yelling, "Damn! The goat stinks!" Finally Bellman went in. After two hours the goat came rushing out yelling "Damn! Bellman stinks!" Two Swedes are walking along a street when one of them says to the other, “look, a dead bird!” The other looks up into the sky and says, “where?” Another spice-related funny Swedish phrase, the “sum of the cardamom” is a common way to sum up a story. It’s got nothing to do with cardamom, but it rhymes and rolls off the tongue nicely. Try it!

When I die, I want to go peacefully in my sleep like my grandpa did, not screaming and shouting like his passengers. Another food related idiom, if a Swede tells you you’re going to get your fish warm, you’re in for some bad news. The father looks at him disapprovingly, “I’m ashamed of you! At your I age I never lied to my father!”. The detector beeps. But if you go beyond comedy and look at the jokes people themselves make in person or on social media, you can still make out national differences.Centuries ago many Norwegians came to Ireland to escape the bitterness of the Norwegian winter. Ireland was having a famine at the time and food was scarce. Dark humor jokes also help people ease their uncomfortable feelings by allowing them some sort of release – laughter! Why do Norwegians dress up when there’s lightning in the sky?” “They think they’re being photographed.”

As in many cultures, foxes get a raw deal in Swedish. Having a fox behind your ear is an abstract way of telling someone they are sly or likely to pull one over on you. There's a variety which combines all three Scandinavian nationalities, a little like the "Englishman, Irishman and a Scotsman" jokes popular in the UK, with the Norwegian the butt of the joke in Sweden and the Swede in Norway. It all comes down to perspective. For Americans and most English speakers, this is true. You probably won’t befriend that guy you take the bus with to work every morning, even after five years. He might stare at you as a way of saying hello after ten, though. A man goes to the beach and sees a woman with no legs and no arms, crying by the shoreline. He asks her what ́s wrong. Look, mistakes happen. But this stereotype is unforgivable in Swedish eyes. The only thing we have in common is neutrality. And both names begin with “sw”. That’s where the commonalities end.A concoction of alcohol, sex and death was Bellman’s lyrical tipple. Indeed, the joy of inebriation was a particularly common thread in his compositions, which portrayed the lives of Sweden’s lower classes. One hundred years later, he came to symbolize the working man again, but this time in a changing society. Bellman jokes were all the rage in the late 19th century.

Safe to say, if you get offended easily (or at all, for that matter), you won’t like some of the jokes here. Just remember:Swedes do, on average, work fewer hours than other nations. Sweden trialed shortening the working day to just six hours a day and, unsurprisingly, people loved it. More time with family and friends, outdoors or just chilling out. Productivity also increased. However, most Swedes still work 40 hours a week. My Grandpa said, “Your generation relies too much on technology!” I replied, “No, your generation relies too much on technology!” Then I unplugged his life support. Danes and Swedes' jokes about the Norwegians tend to revolve around their excessive national pride, and also around their simplistic, literalistic use of language. Du har inte alla .rar-filer i releasen = “You don’t have all the .rar-files in the release” (alludes to not having all the tools or elements necessary to complete the task at hand)