Tied and Licked: Lesbian Domination and Submission Collection

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Before meeting Lynette, she of the multiple grooming products, I’d gotten used to dating people whose own beauty routines consisted of, if anything, 3-in-1 body wash. They tended to gently poke fun at me for all my feminine trappings: the 20 minutes I’d spend each day on my serums. I’m a little ashamed of how, over the years, living beside various permutations of my partners’ easy masculinity, I’d defend my own femme rituals with I’m-not-like-other-girls insistence: Hey, at least I don’t shave! At least I barely wear any makeup! My frivolity was never out of hand. And I prided myself for that, for the ways in which I deliberately limited myself. Instead of covering Erin's legs in a solid wrapping of tape, like her arms were, Marie secured her legs with three bands of tape - one around her ankles, one around her legs just below her knees, and the third just above her knees. Each band consisted of at least six layers. Once she arrived it took me a while to work up the courage to announce that we were going to play, everyone’s favorite, cops and robbers. The game would go as so. The three of us would run around, two cops and one robber, and the cops would try to capture the robber, but if the robber caught one or them, they were a hostage.

When I first pitched this story to my editors, I thought I’d be reporting on a lesbian cultural artifact in its twilight years. The women who’ve faithfully gone on dozens of Olivia trips over the decades are getting older, and I didn’t have a lot of faith that younger queer people were going to step in and save companies like this from extinction. Other elements of lesbian culture have been steadily dying; why should Olivia be any different? To my pleasure and amazement she was already out of my dads study and was hopping towards the stairs. She had heard the screaming and commotion from the office, which to her didn’t sound like a game, and was able to hop to the door, open it with her hands still taped and hop to the foot of the stairs. Normally this would have been amazing, but considering my sister was upstairs in pain I had to let her out. I grabbed some scissors and cut the tape off of her wrists and ankles and she ripped the tape off of her lips.At the Gen O meetup, the hairdresser mentioned that most of the paying customers on board are older women who’ve had an extraordinarily difficult time navigating life as lesbians; they deserve a space, she said, to fully be themselves. Maybe Olivia could do a specific queer-plus trip for trans people and gay men? Being in a space with “someone who looks like a man,” she said — horrifying me, Jamie, Matie, Dana, and a bunch of others — “can cause these women so much trauma.” I was captivated by what Eileen Myles told me at the time: “I know how to fight for what I want, to say no, when to wait. I’ve been in time for 65 years. I have a lot to share. That supposedly should only be in my teaching life — that’s not the case. It’s amazing on both sides to be able to share the world from different angles. It’s lively. It’s hot.” I would write in my journal, the night before leaving: “There’s something so deliriously pleasurable in the idea of trusting myself enough to know exactly what I want.”

Shibari is, "geeky, very brainy, and it can be very intellectual," says Anna, who discovered it five years ago, towards the end of her PhD at UCL. "I was looking online for kinky activities and I found this event called Peer Rope London. I fell head over heels for it! Uh, I don't think so," Erin said. "I was the first one to find Marie like this, so I get to be tied up next. We'll tie you up tomorrow instead." Alright, you two," Marie said to her two bound and gagged sisters. "Time for me to tie myself up again. I'm setting my phone alarm for one hour, just in case I fall asleep. Then I'll hop over to the desk and get my handcuff key, and then maybe, just maybe, I'll untie the two of you after I free myself," she said while putting the handcuff key on the edge of her desk. "Maybe," she said for the third time for emphasis. She was about 17, but I was still a head taller than her even at my age. She was slender, shoulder length dirty blonde hair, and this evening was in tight jeans that showed off her round behind, a tight orange shirt that accentuated her adorable, ample chest. And Yes, I had a bit of a crush on her. I settle for some Kelly Clarkson, and after my screechy but enthusiastic rendition of “Since U Been Gone,” five (!) different women approach me, complimenting my performance. One of them tells me her friend thinks I’m really cute, and could she buy me a drink?

I would decide that it was over, and say so, and it would feel like a sort of death, but it would also, I knew, be the right thing to do — so much so that I’d feel it in my bones. I would tell my partner that I cared about them deeply, and the past five years were among the best of my life. I wouldn’t trade them for anything. But I also felt like we had come to a crossroads, and we weren’t facing the same futures. I had tried so hard to see myself in their dreams, but now I was having dreams of my own. And I didn’t think I saw a future, even a part-time one, in Montana.

The first time I thought that Olivia might actually stand a chance at survival was Sunday, the first full day of the cruise, when I attended the welcome mixer for “Generation O,” which is how Olivia refers to its precious few millennial and Generation X clientele. As I walked around the ship, which holds over 2,000 passengers, it was already clear that the average woman here was a couple decades older than me. But it turned out that there were a few other twenty- and thirtysomethings who’d managed to find their way to Olivia. Ben and Bella also switch, "we take turns to practise on each other. That's the best part," says Ben, "especially today. I was tired and stressed, but now that's disappeared." It was Ben who saw a friend's shibari snap on Facebook. "It looked like something you could nerd out on, that would be fun to learn together as an alternative to movie night." How has it impacted their relationship? "It's improved it, in that we've got more to do — but our relationship didn't need rescuing," says Ben, "it didn’t need spicing up — it was spicy already!" I ask Bella if shibari turns her on. She says, "for me it's more a sensual thing — the sensations on your skin, the intimacy you can have with your partner." She adds that she finds the studio calming, echoing Ben who's, "glad it's not a dungeon." Eventually, once we’d reboarded the boat after our snorkeling, I did start talking with a few of the women I met at the Gen O mixer earlier that week, and it only took a couple of drinks for us to become the best of friends.For too long we have had too much immigration': Voters in Holland react to election win of 'Dutch Trump' Geert Wilders... whose rise to power has left the once liberal nation deeply divided

Enjoy these animated gifs, and maybe even share your desires with your next partner. There are many BDSM lovers out there, but some don’t dare to voice their desires. It’s up to you to initiate them! At dinner, we wondered why we couldn’t have both: explicitly lesbian spaces that also explicitly love, and welcome, trans and gender-nonconforming people. Our identities shouldn’t be opposed, but in communion with each other: butch and femme, trans and cis, lesbian and queer.The images capture Victorian and early-twentieth century females in intimate poses and showing a daring level of openness with one another for the era they were living in. I was disappointed, especially since I wouldn’t have the chance to tie her up again until next month. That, however is another story.